March 25, 2024

There’s so much to be grateful for. A weird thing to say when your Dad is dying. But today, a patient prayed for us…she prayed for my Dad and my family and that was very special. There is a lot to be grateful for. I’m grateful for every breath my Dad takes, every time he opens his eyes and waves at me, and every tiny little smile he can muster.

There’s so much to be grateful for. Time is one of those things at the top of my list. Time and distance, or proximity really, to my Dad are such blessings to me. I’m so grateful to have the privilege of caring for my Da. It’s really humbling, and really connecting, in it’s own way. My dad is one of my favorite people, and to see him this way, so incapacitated, is very sad, but it’s also really heartwarming and interesting. He’s being so good at letting us care for him, and I’ve never seen this side of him….one that has no control, only the option to let go of control and be loved and cared for.

My dad is such a wonderful person. He may be grumpy, but he has a loving, warm heart, and a hilarious sense of humor. He’s one of my favorite people on this planet. To see him go is going to be undeniably hard.

Yesterday, my mom, my boyfriend and I were all taking care of my Dad, and I had to wonder, does he feel like he’s a burden to us? I wanted him to know that caring for him is a privilege I would gladly accept time and time again, and wanted him to know how loved he is. I said to him, “thank you for letting us take care of you, Dad,” and he quietly but firmly replied, “thank you for taking such good care of me.” Being able to nurture him and tend to his comfort has been so rewarding. Today, I asked him, “Do you feel loved, Dad?” and he nodded his head yes and mustered up a little smile. In his condition, I’d imagine it’s tough to forge a smile, so that little grin meant everything to me.

My mom said to me yesterday, “He wasn’t my best buddy until I got cancer. I always loved him, but he wasn’t my best buddy until I got cancer…” to which I knew exactly what she meant and I replied, “He really stepped up to the plate to take care of you, and then he really was and has been your best friend ever since.” That’s my Dad. I’m so proud of him for how he cared for my mom when she was so, so sick. He really was the best caregiver. He showed up for my mom like none of us could have imagined. That’s my Dad….my mom’s best buddy, and our family’s hero.