Mania: euphoria, enthusiasm, passion. Depression: despondency, despair, hopelessness.
I’ve experienced mania and depression for as long as I can remember. I’ve been up and down, up and down.
However, only a few days after Fall daylight savings, I finally feel back on track. Energetic. Motivated. Encouraged. That’s when the question hit me: Am I just manic, or am I back on track?
When you have Bipolar, it can actually be incredibly hard to tell whether you’re YOU, or whether you’re the Bipolar-influenced version of yourself. With Bipolar, your thoughts, feelings, and emotions are all inspired by a neurochemical reaction in your brain. When something is “off,” the emotions you’re feeling aren’t a reflection of you or of your environment necessarily; Your emotions are quite literally a reflection of the chemical reaction happening in your brain. It’s hard to identify who you truly are.
A manic Devin is not Devin-Devin.
When I’m manic, I feel exuberantly energized and motivated. I delve into my work and professional life as though it’s more than just a job. My work becomes a mission and something I love with extreme passion. I become devoted, inspired, and committed to innovating and creating. It feels GOOD. I consider this a positive.
On the contrary, when I’m manic I notice that my impulse control is nearly absent. I may go on a shopping spree, buying unnecessary things and spending way too much money. I feel out of control. I consider this a negative.
But how can someone with mania find a healthy middle ground?
I haven’t yet found the answer to this, but the closest answer I can come up with is through self-discovery.
It’s important to know who you are at the core. The most effective way that I’ve attempted to learn who I am is to ask self-discovery questions which are from within and from my Daily Greatness Journal:
What do I stand for? How do I define greatness? What do I need to stop doing? What do I need to start doing? In what ways can I become a better person? How can I be more authentic and true to myself? Is there a way to help myself more than I am currently?
These questions allow me to experience the journey of finding myself. I become able to better understand why I’m participating in certain actions, like shopping, and thus, can sometimes control my impulses, like over-spending. I find my middle ground.
So move forward and ask yourself these questions, for they can do nothing less than help you, find YOU.
